Offended? Moi?

After Corey got home from Priesthood Saturday night he said that my Grandpa said some great things, one of which struck my attention.
Apparently he said that people ought to be slower to be offended when you know that the person had no intention of offending.
This was interesting to me because I admit I do tend to get offended easily.
Have you ever heard this line, "I'm not trying to be rude but..."
I have heard this line hundreds of times, and I have said it hundreds of times.
This has to be one of the most ingenuine phrases in the human language. I guarantee every time your sentence starts with "I'm not trying to be rude but..." the words that follow are likely intended to offend in one way or the other (even if you choose not to acknowledge it, its probably true).

I was born sensitive. Just ask my parents. It was apparent to them very early on and they sometimes remind me of seeing this in me as a child.
This personality trait is a wonderful gift because it allows me to feel what others are feeling and to empathize with them. It helps me to serve others and be a good friend.
BUT...It can also be a burdensome trait as well because it causes me to get offended easily and to take things too seriously, getting my feelings hurt. I have heard the words, "you are too sensitive" maybe... um...a million times?
I work on it, I really do. But it is still a something I battle with.

It seems that people often like to criticize others because it makes them feel better about themselves and forget about their own insecurities for a brief (very brief) moment. When we insult someone it makes us feel/look superior, but the thing is, it also makes us rude. And lets face it, no one likes a rude person.
I mean, seriously, do you want no one to like you?
Because if you are rude, there is a gooood chance not a whole lot of people like you. Sorry!

Truthfully we are all guilty of criticizing someone else in order to make ourselves feel better. Some people just do it much more than others.
I am acquainted with people who seem to enjoy getting under people's skin, making them feel bad, making them question their worth. People who I would describe as "rude."
I have my husband to thank for helping me to realize who my true friends are. He has taught me (and continues to try to teach me) the kind of people who are worth my time and energy. He has said to me on more than one occasion, "Why the heck are you letting this person hurt your feelings they are such a loser for being rude to you, don't be friends with rude people."
Can't argue with that one can I!

There have been times when I have said something 100% not intending to offend, later to find out I hurt someones feelings.
This brings up another point. There are also people out there who are just LOOKING to be offended. No one really likes to be around this kind of person either because you really can't win with this kind of person, you are always going to be feeling bad because you "offended them."

Now hold you horses before you start saying, "I'm not rude, that person is just too easily offended."

Nice try, but there is a biiiiigggg difference. You might say that to yourself to squelch your guilt but everyone knows there is a difference.

What I am trying to get at is I don't want to be either kind of person.

I don't want to be the one who offends, nor do I want to be the easily offended.
Both of which I am ashamed to admit I have been guilty of at one time or another.

So, goal: Be slower to take offense, and really think before I speak so that I am only saying things I mean, and say it in the way in which I intend the person to receive it.

For those of you interested, below is the excerpt from his talk that I am referring to.

There are times when we can become upset at imagined hurts or perceived injustices. President Heber J. Grant, seventh President of the Church, told of a time as a young adult when he did some work for a man who then sent him a check for five hundred dollars with a letter apologizing for not being able to pay him more. Then President Grant did some work for another man—work which he said was ten times more difficult, involving ten times more labor and a great deal more time. This second man sent him a check for a hundred and fifty dollars. Young Heber felt he had been treated most unfairly. He was at first insulted and then incensed.

He recounted the experience to an older friend, who asked, “Did that man intend to insult you?”

President Grant replied, “No. He told my friends he had rewarded me handsomely.”

To this the older friend replied, “A man’s a fool who takes an insult that isn’t intended.”