Well, Monday was my first night attempting to get Conner to sleep in his own bed all night. As I wrote yesterday it went horrifically (see previous post). Then yesterday he had a total melt down when I tried to put him down for his nap (which in the past was easy as a wink and lasted at least 2.5 hours.) So after ten minutes of crying he seemed to have fallen asleep, only to wake up crying after a twenty minute nap.
I had higher hopes for last nights bed time, we gave him some Benadryl and let him wear himself out and gave him tons to eat before bed so he wasn't hungry at all...and what do you think happened...
HE CRIED ALL NIGHT LONG.
I couldn't believe it. I just feel like I can't win, this is just too much. He never got out of his crib but just bawled all night.
I am now torn between giving in and letting him sleep with us till he gets more comfortable here, or just sticking to my guns now that I have started.
I was awake in my bed all night hearing him BAWLING, "I want my Mommy, I want my Mommy."
How would you feel if this were happening to you? Ya, pretty crappy right?
I just kept going back and fourth in my brain "if you go get him all the effort you made last night will have been a waste."
So I didn't go in. And he cried almost all night. Finally he must have been so worn out he gave up because I eventually fell asleep and when I woke up this morning he was still sleeping.
As I am writing this I just tried to put him down for his nap for today and guess what, yep, total freak out. He screamed the minute I laid him down. He stood up and reached for me and I hurried and left and closed the door. Then of course came the THUMP, and pounding on the door screaming.
So I went back up there and put him back in his bed and tried to force him to lay down. I kept asking him over and over, "What is wrong?" and he just kept saying "I want you, I want you."
What do I do? I tell him that I'm just in the next room but he doesn't care.
I can't believe this. I am at a complete loss as to what to do.
If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it.
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9 years ago
9 comments:
I would stick to your guns. He is obviously testing you, it has nothing to do with the house. He got out of a routine and now he wants to sleep with you. If you give in, you will just have to start over. Also, I wouldn't drug the child. Benedryl can have the opposite effect and make the child anxious or, he could be so exhausted that he can't fall asleep (not to mention, the whole giving meds to knock a child out just sounds bad). If I were you, just stick with it. It will probably take a week. Go buy some ear plugs, I'm serious. Put him in bed, be happy and smily and say "Okay, it is bed time, mommy loves you" and go out. Don't go back in. Just remember that it is sad to hear it, but your child is safe and fine. They just want to have their way and they are persistant. He is only 2, he has to learn to sleep in his own bed. Don't give in, it isn't because you aren't settled in the new house, it is because you allowed him to sleep with you in the first place and he is out of his routine. If you give in, you will start all over again, even if you are "settled" in the house.
Wow, in the past,I would have totally disagree'd with the prior comment, but she/he sounds right! It breaks my heart to hear little one's crying and yelling for mommy, but it's true...stick with it. Perhaps don't drop him off in his crib so quickly (I don't know if you do this, I am just speculating) instead, be sure he knows about an hour prior that bed time is coming, and then again about 30 min prior, then 15 min, the 5 min, etc...and once the time is up, keep your voice happy no matter what he is doing...snuggle with him, give him lots of love and hugs and kisses and put him to bed. With Preston, when he would cry, I would tell him "I will be right back and then I'll lay with you"...but I only came back to see that he was asleep. He just needed that reassurance that I was coming back even if I never did.
I don't agree with the cry it out method for babies, but he is 2 now! And he has slept great until now, so under those circumstances, I think you are doing a great job and he will be over this in no time!
(what do you think about getting him a toddler bed...or a regular twin bed?)
Good luck hon!!! If you ever need a nap during the day, call me, I'll come get Conner so you can sleep a while!
i would say stick to your guns too. It is HARD harD haRD to do but he will be fine eventually. we used to sleep on jadons floor so he would go to sleep but not with josiah...didn't happen. Eventually he will get used to it. maybe think about getting him a BIG boy bed. And tell him how big he is for sleeping in it. We do have the routine of telling him it is almost time for bed and then reading a book,he gets to help daddy turn off the light and then lay him down and sing him a primary song. It is a big change for him plus molars dont help one bit. Let me know if you need to talk I am always with my phone...except for right now I dont know where it is...lol Love you
TOTALLY STICK TO YOUR GUNS! He'll get back on schedule it just might me a week from @#$$!! and maybe it is time for a big boy bed... Will decided on his own that he was ready for a big boy bed... we put a matress on the ground in his room with his crib still in there.. and everytime for bed time or nap time we would ask him if he wanted to sleep in his big boy bed or his crib.. Everytime it was his big boy bed.. We said okay but you can't get out of your big boy bed or you go into time out.. He got off the matress once, went into time out and to this day won't get off his bed tell i come up and get him.. So maybe that is the route to go? GOOD LUCK! THIS IS NO FUN!
I'm a wimp, and while I say I wouldn't completely give in, I would try a smoother transition. I can't do the crying all night thing. We're in the process right now with Addi. When we got back to NY after being in Utah for 3 months it was a huge adjustment again. I started out by having her fall asleep with me sitting next to her crib singing to her. I wouldn't let her get out, but I would stay right there with her. And slowly just went from there. Once she did well with that I would tell her I had to do something, like use the restroom, and that I'd be right back. Then I let her lay in there by herself for about 5 minutes or so before going back in, even if she cried. When I went back in I would reassure her I was there and that I came back like I had promised. (this is long I should have e-mailed you). Then I would be out of her "room" but would have her curtains open and be where she could see me. And went from there. Anyways, just this week I've been able to leave her and she doesn't cry at all. It might seem like a lot for some people, but it's what worked for me and Addi. Try different ways until you find what works for you.
I think Surburban Heretic is right on. I bet if you do it for 1 week it will be over. Do it happily like she suggested so it does not seem like he is being punished for something when you really just want him to go to bed. Also I'm 100% with her on the Benedryl. You can find info online about that how it makes some kids more hyper, not sleepy, that's exactly what it does to Riley.
You are one tough momma, this is not fun or easy to do, but it will be oh so worth it in the end. Does he have a nightlight? We are going to go look for a fun one for our kids since they are kind of doing the same thing right now.
Good luck & let us know how it goes.
Wow that is such a tough situation! I have not experienced it myself yet but I think I would try to spend some time before bed time with him in his room. Like putting him in bed and reading him a story, then singing a song together, and then I would have him say a prayer or have him pray with you and bless him to be a brave big boy in his new room and house. Kids have such faith in the Lord and such faith in prayer. It might help???? Good luck! And don't give up!
Good Lord...I have no advice yet, I have been there but Lucy was much younger and probably didn't understand much...I know my time will come for that too and I'll be lost...ohhhh...so he didn't nap and I was there and didn't even ask you about it...bad Ane...sorry! Oh gosh... I will call you tomorrow, ok? Love ya, hope tonight is better! Ill pray for that!
I think this is one of the hardest things about being a mom. It is so hard to listen to your child crying for you and try to ignore it. It takes a while, but if you don't let your guard down he will eventually give in. When Taylor was little we used to have her fall asleep on the coach while we watched TV at night. (Worst mistake I have ever made) Once Addie was born we couldn't have her do this anymore. We finally got her to stay in her bed as long as we would keep checking on her every so often. We also put a music player in her room to fall asleep to. It has worked well. The music really helped with everything. Good Luck and don't give up.
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